Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
