2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
