My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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