Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
4 words: hood of his car
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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