im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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