doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
