At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
