You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
