what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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