So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
