before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
