when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Are we still banned from the library?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
