i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
