So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
