idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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