If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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