i can't believe i had my finger in that
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
