if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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