Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
