Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
