You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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