Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
