did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
