I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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