Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize