Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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