i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
