I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
