She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
