i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
