I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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