I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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