dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
