Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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