okay pat passed out under dana's car
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
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