If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
