you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You pole danced in your parka.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
