My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
