No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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