I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
