ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
A bitchslap is in order.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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