So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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