but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
