i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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