Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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