Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize