you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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