it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize