also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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