Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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