i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
