her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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