butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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