a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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