i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
