You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
