billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My dick has a subreddit
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
