cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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