im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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