At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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