i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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