He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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